How To Become A Life Coach (and make lots of cash)

If you have a burning desire to become a Life Coach I have some really exciting news for you.

If you follow the secret plan that I’m about to share with you to the letter you will be up and running before Donald Trump’s next nonsensical Tweet. 

Don’t cut corners though

This is a tried and trusted method guaranteed to have you living the life of your dreams and bathing in client supplied cash in no time at all.

Not only that, but I can help you with absolutely no money down and none due on completion.

How’s that for the deal of a lifetime?  Certainly worth whipping yourself into a  frenzy for, I think you’ll agree.

Well here’s the lowdown, and remember to tell all your friends because the world needs more websites with pictures of sunrises, star fish strewn beaches as well as crap vision statements and twee taglines about ‘loving life’

So here we go with my two-step process and then how you achieve it:

starfish

Step 1 – Call Yourself A Life Coach

When anybody asks you what you do for a living you reply, ‘I’m a life coach’ This is very important. Under no circumstances should you say any of the following:

‘I’m a magician’

‘I’m a cosmologist‘

‘I’m the dictator of a small African nation’

Life Coach’s almost never say such things.

Partly because they tend not to be true, but mainly because the chances of being hired by a potential client are massively reduced.

David Copperfield, Steven Hawking and Robert Mugabe have never been hired to life coach anybody to the best of my knowledge.

Step 2 – Think Of A Company Name

Think up a company name and register it with whoever you need to register company names with in your County, State, Country, Constellation etc.

Try to incorporate as many of the following words into your company name as possible; Authentic, awaken, vision, inspire, dream and of course Life Coach and/or Life Coaching.

I’ve just checked and unbelievably

www.Awakenfromyourdreamsinspiredwithanewauthenticvisionlifecoaching.com is still available.

Hurry and register it before somebody else snaps it up.  You’d be a fool not to.

There are a couple of drawbacks to all this though.

Officially you are, as I say, a Life Coach, and nobody can take that away from you so don’t fret, Tim’s got your back.

However, it doesn’t necessarily mean anybody will hire you even if you’re a coaching genius, which I suspect we both know you are.

Life Coaching Isn’t Fair

I know, I know, life (coaching) just isn’t fair, but worry not because I’m not going to desert you now we’ve come this far together my dolphin-loving friend.

Firstly, we need to ascertain whether Life Coaching is absolutely right for you.

I’m sure you are a perfect candidate, but let’s do 3 or 4 minutes due diligence anyway, just in case.

Run through the following checklist and make sure at least 3 of the reasons for becoming a coach apply to you.

Three is a bare minimum and five or above would mean you and coaching is a marriage made in heaven.

argue

12 Great Reasons To Become A Life Coach

  1. You like a good argument
  2. You feel a strong urge to convert people to your way of thinking
  3. You like a good gossip
  4. You like wearing sandals and eating tofu sandwiches
  5. It’s easy money, there aren’t many set-up costs and very little competition to the best of your knowledge
  6. You once attended a Tony Robbins seminar and have a certificate to prove it
  7. You once persuaded your friend Susan to kick her husband out after the pig put his socks in her underwear drawer
  8. You get strangely aroused discussing other people problems
  9. You have a copy of ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ Reading it isn’t absolutely necessary – you showed willing.
  10. You can work on your own anger management issues at the same time
  11. You own a whistle and like wearing baseballs caps back to front and high-fiving people
  12. You’ve attended the ‘University of Life’ 

So let’s move on and look at what you need to be super-successful in your chosen field.

Life coach certificate

Life Coach Training

In the USA and most of the world for that matter, there is no legal requirement to undertake any training whatsoever to become a Life Coach.

Phew, that’s good news, eh?

But the bad news is occasionally pesky clients ask to see some form of proof that you’re qualified to dispense your undoubted worldly wisdom. The bastards!

Anyway, there are several options available to you at this stage because obviously nobody wants to waste time and money getting coach training.

I wasted 8 months and thousands of dollars with initial training and then a load more with ongoing training in NLP, Hypnotherapy and some other airy-fairy stuff the names of which I forget now.

I even bought some books!

As I look back with a heavy heart I realize what a damn fool I was.

With that money I could have bought an industrial color printer and set about printing off certificates for myself and friends.

I could have then made a fortune selling them on Fiverr too.

Alas, I didn’t think of any of that and listened to do-gooder types that suggested training was the correct route.

If you haven’t got the cash to splash on the mega-printer I would advise three options.

Option 1

If a client asks to see proof, feign temporary deafness.

Say you have a weird painful ringing in your ears and then as he or she shows concern deftly switch the subject to terms of payment.

Option 2

If that doesn’t work and they still insist, you can choose option two and tell them to piss off because you’ve had troublemakers like them before and they’re obviously uncoachable.

I understand some people don’t feel comfortable abusing their clients, but no problem because there’s a third option and it’s really cunning.

tin hat

Option 3

I have 3 words for you

The – Law – Of – Attraction

Ok, so that’s actually four, but who’s counting?

Until that women who wrote ‘The Secret’ invented the Law of Attraction people had to work for a living.

Now things have changed though and as a Life Coach you can put this to good use to make sacks of cash.

If you’re a law of attraction coach you don’t need any qualifications other than a strategically placed copy of The Secret, a vague knowledge of some guy called Abraham that talks and looks very much like a women, and an ability to put a big cheesy smile on your face at a moments notice.

The biggest upside of being a Law of Attraction coach is that if clients don’t get the results they want it’s their fault!

It’s quite brilliant.

If they complain that they don’t see any improvement just tell them they’re doing it wrong and they must be dreaming negative thoughts.

Then double your rates telling them that they manifested you into doing so.

Niche Markets

I know I said that you could become a Law of Attraction coach and I suppose that is a bit of a niche, but be careful you don’t fall into any more.

If you start positioning yourself as one type of coach, people that don’t need you will see you as a very strange fish and won’t phone.

That can be bad for business.

Therefore, do what I did and claim to be a life coach, business coach, executive coach, stress management coach, solution coach, basketball coach and just for good measure, a 52-seater coach.

If somebody points out that each discipline requires a different skill set and approach and one is even an inanimate object, laugh loudly, shake your head slowly and ask them what medication they are currently taking.

Marketing Your Life Coaching Services

I know clients can play havoc with your social schedule, but the reality is they pay the bills.

No matter how much you like stroking your chin and pondering the meaning of life, you’re going to have to speak to some of them from time to time.

Where do they come from you may well be wondering?

Well I’m afraid for the first 3 or 4 days until you’re full you’ll have to market yourself.

I know that sounds tiresome and you don’t want to be hanging around Chamber of Commerce meetings with lots of sad-faced realtors eating vol-au-vents, sipping alcohol-free wine and showing your pictures of their ugly kids, but there’s another way.

World Wide Web

It’s called the Internet

It’s free and you don’t even have to get dressed in the morning to use it. How brilliant is that?

The starting point is to get yourself an account on Twitter.

Don’t worry this isn’t a place for anorak-wearing bird watchers to hang out, but a funky new social media website. Twitter is chock full of guru’s and potential clients.

All you do is spend 12 to 15 hours per day ‘following’ every person you can find and hassling anybody stupid enough to enter ‘Life Coach’ into a tweet.

In return they’ll all love you and want to hire you for gargantuan sacks of cash.

Ok, we’re almost home and dry, just one more thing to do before you can tell people to be not forget to be awesome for a living..

awesome acronym

Get A Weblog

A weblog or as the young cool kids call them these days, ‘blogs’ are great for encouraging clients to beat a path to your door.

In a matter of minutes after setting up your blog you’ll be sick of answering phone calls from people needing your services.

Clients, reporters, TV stations, executive bigwigs and stalkers will all be eager to talk to you.

Make sure you have a team of VA’s standing by once you hit that publish button for the first time.

So there you have it. You now have all the information you’ll ever need to become a successful super-wealthy Life Coach.

Welcome aboard the gravy train and I look forward to networking with you in the near future.

Oh, and if I have missed any other cons, er, I mean short-cuts off, please let me know in the comments below.