5 Tools You Should Use to Get to the Heart of any Problem

She paused.

I waited.

She finally said security was more important to her than adventure.

“Why do you think that took so long to answer?”

I love them both, but they have always conflicted inside of me. I really want to be an adventurous type of person, but even when I’m on vacation I feel anxious.

“Do you feel this way at home?”

“Nope. I’m usually very relaxed and happy.”

I then dug a little deeper and we began to uncover why she was conflicted about her promotion at work.

We wouldn’t have gotten to understand her problem so quickly without using the 5 most important tools we use in coaching. It all stems from the Core Values Method.

Whether you are a Life Coach or a manager you need to help people get unstuck so they can continue moving forward.

Tim created the Core Values Method to help his clients understand their problems and get clarity on what decisions they needed to make to be happy.

1. Rank Core Values

One of the biggest mistakes coaches and leaders make is not taking the time to understand someone else’s core values.

Great leaders find ways to help people connect to a problem and find ways to solve it. This starts with how their core values align with their actions. 

That’s why I have every client rank their core values. They become more clear on who they are and what they want and I get a better understanding of what makes them tick.

2. Listen to Emotions Behind Answers

When I ask my clients what is most important to them. The real golden nuggets are in how they answer. If they pause or aren’t sure I take a note.

If they have a strong conviction then I know it’s a deeply rooted core value and can help us make decisions quickly.

3. Mirror Answers

After I’m done ranking their core values I repeat it back to them. I want them to hear what their top 8 core values are.

They get to hear from me what truly matters to them. This is such an important step because hearing it back from someone else makes it feel much more concrete.

4. Use Questioning Techniques

Then I begin to dig into why they feel so strongly about their core values.

I do this because I want them to have an even deeper understanding of their core values. When you ask them why family is so important you get to see into their mind and heart.

It’s a powerful open ended questions that allows me to use the last tool.

5. Challenge for Growth

I believe that growth only comes from challenges. When coaching someone you have to challenge them so they can grow.

If you only mirror back what they say and reinforce old ideas then they won’t take action to make changes.

It’s why coaching is so hard and a good coach is sought after because they aren’t afraid to help people dig down and see a problem from a fresh angle.

It’s this fresh angle that will generate an “aha” moment so they find internal growth.

This is Important

These values can fluctuate depending on external circumstances. If someone is a first time parent a year after we do these values I guarantee that ‘family’ will move up on their list if it isn’t already high.

Similarly ‘health’ will take a leap in importance if somebody or a closed love one gets seriously sick.

The idea is to use someone’s present core values to help them take action with conviction, but not to assume they will always stay the same.

If their job is slowly killing them, but they are afraid to leave then you can’t just tell them what to do. They must see why they aren’t aligned with their core values.

Your Turn

Have you ever ranked someone else’s core values? If so, what results have you gotten?